The FitBit Incident

I’ve been a total jabroni when it comes to posting the last few weeks. I’m so sorry to the 26 of you who visit the site daily.

Anyway, I’ve been busy as shit. Speaking of shit, let’s discuss the FitBit Incident of 2013.

Back in September 2012, I bought a FitBit Ultra and wore it religiously. Even in Mexico on our honeymoon. Honestly, having the ‘Bit has motivated me more than ever. It let’s me track:

  • Calories burned
  • Sleep
  • Total steps
  • Total flights of stairs
  • Activity sessions (like cardio workouts)

I usually wore it on my bra or on my waistband. After the Incident, I will never wear it on my waistband again.

Let’s just say my competition diet keeps me irregular. Like really irregular. Basically, I get the poops a lot.

So one day at work I race to the bathroom to take care of some irregularity. I do my thing. Then as I stand up to pull up my jeans I hear a little *plop* behind me.

FitBit in the poop.

Like any normal person who has accidentally dropped a $100 piece of technology into dirty toilet water, I inspected to see if it could be salvaged.

Nope. FitBit legit in the poop.

I contemplated my options.

Then I flushed it.

After a mild panic attack and a few humorous text exchanges (“My FitBit was in the poop, guys.” and “What would you reach into poop to save?”), my friend Laura told me to email the FitBits and tell them what happened. They might replace it for free, she said!

In my email to the FitBits, I was as honest as I could be without including the poop part.

The FitBits didn’t replace my flushed ‘Bit, but they did offer me 50 percent off a FitBit One.

FitBit One

The FitBit One

OooOOOOOooooOOoo! Upgrade!

So be careful when you gotta go and have the ‘Bit on your waist. It could become a ShitBit and a $50 trip to the bathroom.