That one time Cliff Compton and I talked about our dogs

Warning: This is a longer post, but it’s so worth it.

It’s no secret that Jake and I are pro wrestling fans. Before you clown on me, you have to understand that it embodies so many things I like about live entertainment:

• Pretty people
• Not pretty people
• Arguments/violence
• Pageantry
• An element of unpredictability (yay live TV!)
• Pyro

It’s also no secret that I have a (somewhat ironic and kinda serious) desire to be a pro wrestler myself. At this point, it’s a lofty goal, but I am doing a lot of research and trying to learn as much as I can about what it takes. I see it as an extension of my current training for the WBFF.

So when I recently had the chance to partake in a promotion with Cliff Compton through Barbershop Window, I was like “fuck it, YOLO!”

I got a hoodie and a one-on-one call with Cliff himself (can I call him Cliff? Are we on a first-name basis? Maybe Mr. Cliff to keep it formal?) The hoodie says “1859 Time to Die.” I like wearing it to the gym so people think I’m a dick and don’t get in my zone. It’s also comfy.

So eventually we set a date/time for The. Call. and I’m getting all nervous and sweaty palms because I haven’t followed Mr. Cliff’s career for very long (even though I Googled the shit out of him after he followed me on Twitter – he’s @CliffCompton, by the way). He’s a well-known and respected wrestler currently on the roster for OVW. He also spent some time as the tag team champ in the WWE, and you probably heard about him last year when he had a pretty terrible time in Nigeria.

That said, I work well under pressure so I thought “I’ll just wing it and wait for the magic to happen.”

In addition to my lack of preparation, I worried that I would offend him because I can come off as a little bitchy intense with my vulgar mouth and habit of interrupting people. Also I think I heard somewhere that he was kind of mean intense, too, and I didn’t want him to get mad at me.

So the phone rings and this guy who was connecting me with Mr. Cliff said something like “how this thing goes all depends on [Mr.] Cliff’s mood.” And I’m thinking “Oh shitballs they’re expecting him to verbally murder me.”

“OK, we’ll connect you with [Mr.] Cliff now.”

I mean, aside from a few awkward silences during which I’m 95% sure he was thinking “Is this girl going to ask me about wrestling?” it was a pretty good time. Now that it’s over, I thought of 100 wrestling questions I didn’t ask because I was so nervous. Verbal biff.

Anyway, here are the highlights:

• Of the 30 people who did the promo, I was one of the “top five normal” people he spoke with. Maybe the first time I’ve ever been described that way? I’ll call it a victory.
• Both of our dogs have diabetes! Canine diabetes support group!
• His trip to Nigeria was not fun.
• His favorite movie is Back to the Future, but he does not like my favorite of the trilogy, Back to the Future III (or as I called it “the old west one.”)
• Neither of us know why there is both a Kansas City, Kansas and a Kansas City, Missouri (despite me living in the area my entire life).
• We both like watching Dexter.
• He was eating whole-wheat ravioli while we were talking, and I was really, really envious. I’d murder a unicorn to eat pasta at this point. Fuckin’ carbs, man.

So one hour and 18 minutes later, I left the conversation motivated to explore the idea of training. Don’t be surprised if you hear me saying I’m going for it.